That kind of made me warm inside (: I have already given up on life itself, but I'm not going to break down.

@Sharpster: I'm the only one who has been blogging the last few entries, and I agree that my blogs have been quite negative.


The life I've had in my childhood had nothing of those. I was always pushed around, called names, people were teasing me and punching me for no reason. I had one girlfriend I really liked, she broke up with me and how is her life 7 years later? She's an alcoholic and smokes cigarettes, that's how her life changed.

From all that shxt I had to take, my smile and laughter was fake. I never smiled for real, I never laughed at jokes. I was practically dead inside, and because of the tough childhood I'd consider myself having no emotions at all. Thanks to that, I'm able to stand up against the things that happened in my past.. and I won't take any shxt from anyone else anymore.

And if I do more blogs, i'll try not to be so negative :P

No idea. I don't really like my class anyway, but I'm not jumping around screaming I dislike them. I prefer to be left alone, I don't like to socialize with people irl that much. Still, when I try to speak to someone I just get the feeling I'm getting completely ignored. And I've heard comments such as "you're speaking too silently" or "did you say anything?", while knowing how my own voice works (I sing, so I have a clue about how loud I'm speaking) I'm pretty sure I'm not talking too silently.

Another thing is that my childhood has been rather dull, seeing as where I was living and going to school before. I was always the one getting pushed around, blamed on (even by teachers, while sometimes it wasn't even my fault), and the only word I can think of to describe my childhood is racism. So by experience, I'd say that's what's happening at the moment.. But it's still kinda hard to believe, because my class isn't really a bunch of idiots who would do that. So I don't really know anymore, that's why I've stopped caring about life.. I've learned that life is shxt, whether you want it or not, some people are morons and would do anything to benefit themselves - even if it means using other people. (I'm not trying to direct that at anyone at all, it's just a simple, plain fact about some people out there in the world)

So yeah.. sorry for the long reply, I feel like I've written too much personal stuff aswell. I actually thought back at my life while writing this, and noticed how much of a failure I am.

I've been forced to be glad tomorrow as it's our ending ceremony at school, so I have to stop being so negative or else my girlfriend will kill me..

Good night everyone (good day if you're reading this in daytime..).